So, its that time of year when people make new years resolutions and review their lives. Me, I'm not big on NY resolutions. i think they're nearly always forgotten by the end of January! However, I do have aspirations for the future and I'm currently updating my list - getting rid of aspirations that have changed, and adding new ones. These are the ones I have achieved so far.....

ACHIEVED GOALS

1. Get a laptop - Achieved 10th of May 2006
2. Get an xbox 360 or computer upgrade for brad - Achieved October 2006
3. graduate from university within set period of time - YAYYY complete! Graduated 9th May
4. Travel to NZ - achieved 25 September 2008
5. Fly on a plane - achieved twice this year - once with my cousin in her two seater and again on the 25th of September on a flight to NZ!
6. Drink a Martini - Achieved 25 August, 2007
7. Get a puppy - preferably a maltese terrier or a King charles - achieved June 2006
8. See a broadway calibre show - Achieved in April 2008
9. Stay in a five star hotel and order room service :D Achieved in April 2008
10. Attend a dragons match - Achieved september 2006
11. Go iceskating - Achieved 25th August, 2007
12. Earn more than 40 k a year - Achieved March 2009!
13. Complete furniture list of all pieces we want Achieved 28 September 2007
14. Get the dog fixed - Achieved 21st August 2007
15. Get Brad a new computer - achieved18th December 2007
16. Ride in a limosine
17. New plates and cutlery and glasses - Achieved August 2007
18. New bedding - Achieved October 2007
19. Collect MASH dvds - Achieved August this year!
20. Find temporary accommodation that allows us to keep our pets! Achieved Jan 2009
21. Get a placement with Docs - Achieved Feb 2009
22. Sponsor a child - Dec 2009
23. Become Eligible for Permanency - Eligible as of August 2009 - permanent position starts Jan 12th 2010 :D
24. Collect all Seinfeld dvds - Achieved Sep 2009

GOALS YET TO ACHIEVE

1. Trade in car for a family car
2. Buy a house
3. Have kids
4. Do a tandem Skydive!
5. Go to sydney and see the opera house
6. Learn to surf
7. Go snow skiing and build a snowman
8. Collect the entire discography of Garth Brooks
9. Learn the guitar
10. Learn how to play Music Box Dancer on the piano
11. Record a cd and have it played on the radio
12. Attend country music college
13. Sell my t shirt designs
14. Attend Tamworth Country music festival
15. Perform in Tamworth country music festival
16. Collect all John Bevere's books
17. Get a position with DCS Court Services
18. Go to Europe and see Italy and the UK

This year's goals

1. Grow closer to Jesus through daily study and prayer
2. Continue to be healthier and reach a healthy weight
3. Have a decent holiday this year - somewhere warm!
4. save at least 25-30 grand for a house and then start pricing houses and land

I have a prayer for this year:

Lord, today a new year has started. I know that you want us to be mindful of your callings everyday, not just at the beginning of the year. Today a lot of promises will be made, many of which will be broken. Lord, give me the strength and the ability to not just SAY I'm going to do something but to follow through and achieve everything that you want from me this year. The road ahead will not be easy, and at times I know I will cry out to you for help. I will fight and fuss, I will at times wonder whether I have done the wrong thing, and I will need every bit of your strength and wisdom in order to perform my duties well both at work and at home. Lord, give me a heart that is yours - break this heart of stone and make it into a heart that beats for everything that you love, and avoids everything you hate. Lord, change my spirit to be more like you, and help me to keep that all year long. Lord let me show your face to those I work with, soften my spirit and give me a renewed spirit that is one of grace, poise and beauty - Lord let me shine for you! To you be the glory, the power, and the praise forever and ever AMEN.

God Bless us all in 2010!

Graduation!

Goals list reviewed

Having attended my graduation ceremony, I thought it about time to review my goals...from what I can see I have achieved two major goals this year - earning more than 40 k a year and graduating from university, and two of my yearly goals - getting a job with DOCS and finding somewhere temporary to live. However, my goals appear to be constantly changing and morphing, as goals and dreams do as we get older. So what I am going to do is keep the things I have achieved in a separate section making a new list of JUST things I havent done yet :D So here's the old list :D


1. Lose weight before my 10 year reunion - have lost 20 kgs so far
2. Get a laptop - Achieved 10th of May 2006
3. Get an xbox 360 or computer upgrade for brad - Achieved October 2006
4. Trade in car for a family car
5. Buy a house
6. Have kids
7. graduate from university within set period of time - YAYYY complete! Graduated 9th May
8. Do a tandem Skydive!
9. Travel to NZ - achieved 25 September 2008
10. Fly on a plane - achieved twice this year - once with my cousin in her two seater and again on the 25th of September on a flight to NZ!
11. Drink a Martini - Achieved 25 August, 2007
12. Go to sydney and see the opera house
13. Learn to surf
14. Go snow skiing and build a snowman
15. Get a puppy - preferably a maltese terrier or a King charles - achieved June 2006
16. Develope a prayer life and do bible study every day for 3o consecutive days
17. See a broadway calibre show - Achieved in April 2008
18. Stay in a five star hotel and order room service :D Achieved in April 2008
19. Sponsor a child
20. Collect the entire discography of Garth Brooks
21. Lose enough weight to do up my black jacket :D
22. Attend a dragons match - Achieved september 2006
23.Go iceskating - Achieved 25th August, 2007
24. Earn more than 40 k a year - Achieved March 2009!
25. Learn the guitar
26. Learn how to play Music Box Dancer on the piano
27. Record a cd and have it played on the radio
28. Attend country music college
29. Sell my t shirt designs
30. Attend Tamworth Country music festival
31. Perform in Tamworth country music festival
32. Complete furniture list of all pieces we want Achieved 28 September 2007
33. Collect all John Bevere's books - working on that!
34. Collect MASH dvds - Achieved August this year!
35. Collect all Seinfeld dvds
36. Get the dog fixed - Achieved 21st August 2007
37. Get Brad a new computer - achieved18th December 2007
38. Ride in a limosine
39. New plates and cutlery and glasses - Achieved August 2007
40. New bedding - Achieved October 2007


Year Goals - These are my goals for 2009
Find temporary accommodation that allows us to keep our pets! Achieved Jan 2009
Continue losing weight and just generally being healthy
Save up a deposit for a house - This is nearly complete!
Get a placement with Docs - Achieved Feb 2009
Move to NSW - Moving to Toowoomba Instead!
Buy a house - this is now set for 2010
Do tandem Skydive
Do a quick trip to Sydney :D


And here's an updated list

ACHIEVED GOALS

Lose weight before my 10 year reunion - have lost 20 kgs so far
Get a laptop - Achieved 10th of May 2006
Get an xbox 360 or computer upgrade for brad - Achieved October 2006
graduate from university within set period of time - YAYYY complete! Graduated 9th May
Travel to NZ - achieved 25 September 2008
Fly on a plane - achieved twice this year - once with my cousin in her two seater and again on the 25th of September on a flight to NZ!
Drink a Martini - Achieved 25 August, 2007
Get a puppy - preferably a maltese terrier or a King charles - achieved June 2006
See a broadway calibre show - Achieved in April 2008
Stay in a five star hotel and order room service :D Achieved in April 2008
Attend a dragons match - Achieved september 2006
Go iceskating - Achieved 25th August, 2007
Earn more than 40 k a year - Achieved March 2009!
Complete furniture list of all pieces we want Achieved 28 September 2007
Get the dog fixed - Achieved 21st August 2007
Get Brad a new computer - achieved18th December 2007
Ride in a limosine
New plates and cutlery and glasses - Achieved August 2007
New bedding - Achieved October 2007
Collect MASH dvds - Achieved August this year!
Find temporary accommodation that allows us to keep our pets! Achieved Jan 2009
Get a placement with Docs - Achieved Feb 2009


GOALS YET TO ACHIEVE

Trade in car for a family car
Buy a house
Have kids
Do a tandem Skydive!
Go to sydney and see the opera house
Learn to surf
Go snow skiing and build a snowman
Develope a prayer life and do bible study every day for 3o consecutive days
Sponsor a child
Collect the entire discography of Garth Brooks
Learn the guitar
Learn how to play Music Box Dancer on the piano
Record a cd and have it played on the radio
Attend country music college
Sell my t shirt designs
Attend Tamworth Country music festival
Perform in Tamworth country music festival
Collect all John Bevere's books
Collect all Seinfeld dvds
Get a position with DCS Court Services
Become Eligible for Permanency

GOALS FOR 2009

Continue losing weight and just generally being healthy
Save up a deposit for a house - This is nearly complete!
Move to Toowoomba
Do tandem Skydive
Do a quick trip to Sydney :D

That means I have achieved 23 goals off my list...not bad!!!! only 26 to go at this stage!!!

Inspired....or not....

Last week at Amanda's I got back my copy of "The Hours" a fascinating moving about Virginia Wolf that has Meryl Streep and Nicole Kidman in it...I absolutely LOVE that movie. I've pulled it out on this very cloudy and miserable looking Sunday afternoon and because of that I am once again inspired to document my thoughts...I always feel like that after watching it! The special features talks about how Virginia was obsessed with the details of every minute of every day, and it made me think about how much of our lives goes past us..sleeping....watching tv....on the phone....in the car....how amazing it is that we have this amazing gift of life and yet so often we're numb to it, immunne to it. We dont seem to pay enough attention to it, we dont stop to describe it in any great detail. So, in my attempt to be inspired, here is how I have spent my day today.

I woke to a feeble sunlight streaming in my window just before 7am. I am marvelled at how my body knows when to wake, despite me setting my alarm! I thought for sure that Brad's alarm would go off at 7:30 and we'd be in a mad rush to get ready for church, but no so! I got up, made toast and tea and put on the dvd of Batman begins we watched last night (during which I fell asleep LOL) and went back to try and watch the bits I had missed while I got dressed, did my hair and got ready for church. I got frustrated with my hair.....I dont know whether I like my new haircut or not now, but Brad SWEARS to me that he loves it, and anyone who knows Brad will tell u he is not lying...he never says anything he doesnt mean!

We arrived at church with me in an exasperated mood, and this seemed to continue for most of the service. It was a good service though I confess I get very frustrated with certain people from my church wanting to "talk shop" with me. In truth it feels like its the only time they talk to me at all....and it doesnt help that there are two lots of foster families in our church and I work for the deparment that places and trains them! Inevitably for the first couple of weeks there will be a little shop talk simply out of novelty, but it seems I hear of nothing else, which is infuritating when ur trying to leave work at work and have a life outside of the office! They mean well....

AFter church we came home, and had some lunch while brad watched a bit of the formula one before he decided to nap. I thought I would nap with him, but not long after I layed down Brad's dad called and I jumped up to get teh phone, giving myself a huge fright with my heart POUNDING out of my chest for ages afterwards. I got up, made myself a cup of tea and then baked a cake. With the cake cooling, and my conscience screaming at me to go and clean up the back courtyard area like I had intended I sit here writing this...and I suppose since the grey clouds are rolling in I should listen to myself and do so before it gets too dark and dreary.

Tis an odd thing, feeling like ur always waiting for something else....I thought when I finished university I would be done with waiting and I could feel like I was getting on with things. Then I thought that as soon as we moved house I'd feel like that. Then I thought ok, when I get a good job I'll feel like that. Now it's "when we move to toowoomba" and then after that it will be "when Brad finishes uni" or "when brad gets a job". Why must I always be waiting? Contentment is such a fickle thing...always just before my nose but never quite within reach. I suppose it is a good thing that I am always striving for something better, and I hope that I never come to a place where there is nothing else to look forward to, but it always feels like others are more stable than I am...more secure and more confident in where they are...and I wonder whether I'll ever get to a place where I feel like that.

*sigh* my back courtyard awaits....

Simple Beautiful

Have you ever had one of those moments where you're blissfully going about her business and hear a noise outside and think to yourself "hey that sounds like rain" and for a few seconds thats a happy thought.....unless you realise you have an entire weeks washing on the line??? That just happened to me...after those few seconds of bliss the sinking feeling that you have to RACE to the line to salvage your clothes or else you'll be wearing rags to work for the week! Anyways, so I raced out to the line, laughing to myself at my panic, and all of a sudden I looked up...and u know, it was the most amazing thing I've seen. Blue sky EVERYWHERE except directly over my head..one single dark cloud dropping rain drops the size of strawberries! They were few and far between but so heavy and full of water that they made the most amazing sound as they hit the ground, and the sight of them catching the light as the fell from the heavens made me feel like God was dropping sparkling diamonds down on me. In that instant I felt like God was showering me with cool, comfortable relieving love, soothing the heat of the day and showing me once again his awesome power and simple beauty.

He's so amazingly complicated that we cannot possibly fathom God in his entirety...and yet at the same time He is so incredibly simple. I can look up to the heavens in a sun shower and somehow just KNOW Him by what I see. He may be God of the universe, but he still has time to shower me with diamonds.....

Take time to stop and look up every once in a while....see the beauty around you and realise that He put it all there just for you, in the hopes that you would stop and wonder and dwell on Him. He puts it all there just to make you happy! Then share your experiences with the world....the world wants to hear something beautiful.

Lazy days and Sundays

It's been a quiet few days in the tough household. I have to admit my thoughts have been firmly set on graduation, now that I know for sure that I can go. Between dwelling on possible venues for my graduation dinner, to booking accommodation and looking online for a dress I havent thought of much else! I have endeavoured to get as much housework done as I could, knowing that next week will be another busy week and knowing that soon I will be full time. As much as I love my time at home, I am actually looking forward to working the same days as everyone else....my days off aren't as special because I get four instead of two. Plus me working full time will allow us to pay for some stuff coming up - graduation, moving to Toowoomba, and perhaps a new washing machine since our current one sounds like its going to take off every time we use it!!!!

I have admit I'm starting to really miss facebook. Which is precisely the reason why I need to NOT use it....its a fricken WEBSITE I shouldnt feel like that! LOL I have been missing softdrinks at home too, but so far I have no succumbed, despite being tempted the other day! The no potato thing is actually going really well however, I dont' seem to be doing too badly. BTW Just so everyone knows.....mashed cauliflower is NOT in ANY way shape or form even SIMILAR to mashed potato.....nomatter WHAT Tony Ferguson says!!!!!

Work seems to be going really well....I haven't fallen behind and so far I'm keeping up with what I have to do. Monday morning will be breezy because I only have a couple of cases to enter in, and I have the whole morning to do it in because I'm not on the phones til Monday arvo. But thankfully it will give me a chance to work on my plp (professional learning plan) and have that all in place, so that I can tailor what I do with the deparment to my own career goals. I've been thinking alot lately about which team I would like to work in next, and I'm leaning towards doing something with placement.....I dont think I have the stomach for I&A as much as I'd like to think I do, but working with foster families, or even training foster families would be fascinating. Of course, my eventual goal still remains to represent the department in family court....getting TAOS and such for kids and going into court for the department. Another area I'd like to work in is adoption....it would be a pretty amazing job matching up children with adoptive families.

Well best be off...time to clean up and head to dreamland!!! Til next time loyal readers! :P

A quick update!!!

Ok so its day three of my "no soft drink" thing, and today I finally deleted my facebook..well I deactivated which apparently keeps all my info in case I want to ever come back, which is probably going to be unlikely but maybe my curiosity will get the better of me one day!!!! I've had a surprising response from ppl about staying in touch, which is nice!

This morning I went to church, and I was all good til the prayer meeting rolled around...the next minute I had tears STREAMING down my face and I couldnt stop it...it was like I was LEAKING or something!!! Poor brad went and got me tissues, held my hand and kept whispering "are you alright" the poor boy!! He didnt quite know what to do, and to be honest I didnt quite know what was going on myself. We went back up to the sound desk and I didnt really get a chance to tell him before Sandra came up and asked if I was ok, and I blurted out "nooo" LOL She gave me a hug and I realised that going to church had become a painful experience for me because I felt so disconnected from everything. It's not just because of my new job in Toowoomba either, which was Sandra's first thought, cos Ive been feeling like this for a while now. I tried to explain it to her, and she gave me some sage advice, but then during worship bang it happened again, and I kept asking God "what are you trying to do to me today? What is it that you want me to resolve??" and it was during the sermon when Brad and I started talking about past stuff that had really hurt me...stuff like getting kicked off the worship team, having my ideas rejected on a few different occasions, feeling like I don't belong, never getting asked anywhere. I realised that God was trying to show me how much these things had hurt my fellowship with those in my church who really didnt deserve for me to be angry at them. I had withdrawn so much that I had lost touch of who they really are as people, because if I had a good grasp on that I would know that nomatter what happened it wasnt ever intentional. I had built up in my mind that I couldn't trust any of them, and the facade I had to put on every sunday was tearing me apart!

I know it's time to "get real" as dr phil would say. I'm not sure what that entails exactly, but I have to start being honest with myself and others. It was really hard for me to admit to Sandra of all people (who by all accounts is a bit of a hero of mine!) that all was not peachie for me and that I was feeling disconnected and lost from my church, but I am hoping that over the coming weeks I can work on healing some of those past hurts. I dont even know how I will do that, but I have to try. I really truly believe that until I do God cannot move me to the next level, because without the fellowship of a church its very difficult to keep growing in God.

I wonder whether all these revelations are coming to me as I let go of those things that have had a hold on me lately??? Interesting huh!!!!